As us MLIS holders keep banging on the doors that the full time jobs are locked behind, I can't help be amazed and some of the job posts I see, and can't help but wonder how on earth they could ever be filled. What kinds of jobs do I see when looking over library job sites? Here are some fun examples:
Due Diligence Analyst (IL).
I read the job description for this position and I still have no idea what they do. But putting that aside, I'd love to know how many people went to library school in hopes of one day working as a Due Diligence Analyst. If you're one of them, please tell me what you do in much simpler terms than I saw.
Product Coordinator- Reading Glasses (RI)
OK, I'm going to assume that this just made it onto a library job site completely by mistake, I don't think it's even supposed to be related in any way.
Bilingual Vietnamese Access Services Assistant (OR)
Seriously, who gets this job? "Do you have an MLIS? Do you have experience in access services? Do you live in OR, or are willing to move there? Do you also speak fluent Vietnamese? Well then, it's your lucky fucking day. Because if you have the qualifications to apply for this job, you're the only one! Just show up to an interview, pants optional, and the job is yours!" I would love to meet the person who got made fun of all through school because they studied for an MLIS and learned Vietnamese in the hopes of finding this exact job someday, and then it actually ended up paying off. I would laugh and laugh and laugh.
These are of course oddball examples, but it's actually extremely common to see jobs that want you to have a second Master's degree, often in the hard sciences. Yeah, I have a Master's in engineering, but now I'm going to spend the time and money on another Master's so I can go from being an engineer to being a librarian, because... I don't deserve to be happy.
These are the jobs I see when looking for employment. Jobs I don't see: "Reference," without a bunch of stuff like "programming" and "children's lit" tacked onto it. I'm pretty sure that used to be a thing, back before my ill fated graduation year of 2008. I don't think they'll ever exist again.
Showing posts with label It's funny because I hate myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label It's funny because I hate myself. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
I have dignity. Well.... I know OF dignity.
I wrote previously in my blog about the unfortunate necessity for some people to don a mask during interviews. How we obviously should be able to be ourselves for the best interest of both ourselves and the employer, but the reality is shy people would never have a fighting chance if we could be ourselves, so we have to fake it. No matter who we are, we all go into interviews as outgoing, smiley, pleasant people who fucking love work more than we love food.
That was one example of how (without lying, of course) we do have to make believe things in interviews that we know aren't true. However, there's another example of make believe that goes on in interviews, only in this case, BOTH parties know it's a lie. This is the part where we ask the employer questions because "we're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing us."
Ask anyone for interviewing advice, and that's on the short list. "Remember, you're interviewing them, too." We are-- supposedly-- sizing them up, getting a feel for the environment, and deciding if that place is good enough for us. The employers expect it too-- after all, if we're worth hiring, we can't be some desperate shlub, we need to be the cream of the crop. They should be wooing us.
Look, I understand we should ask questions just because we should have some curiosities of a place we may potentially work, but when I have to make believe that I'm an indispensable talent who is taking my expertise only to the very best place of business, I feel like I'm insulting their intelligence and my own.
Maybe there are people in even the library world like that. People with 20 years of experience who have run organizations, written books, given world famous (or, library famous) lectures around the country, and slain mimes with their adamantium claws. And if any of that were true of me, it would be on my fucking resume. Especially the claw thing.
No, I am most definitely and hilariously NOT in any position to "interview them as much as they're interviewing me," and it's laughable that I have to go through that charade. I know it and they know it, but there we sit, both politely pretending otherwise for no reason other than blind tradition, or perhaps to give them something to snicker about later. We in the library world-- all of us, you, me, and them-- know exactly how royally fucked our job market is. I am in absolutely no position to turn down a full time job, no matter how terrible the place is, and I'd venture to say few librarians and NO new or new-ish librarians are. If participation in their annual cactus hugging contest were a mandatory condition of hire, I would hug the crap out of some cacti and tearfully thank them for showing me more love than this career ever has.
I'm expected to work 50 hours a week for no extra pay? I have to work mornings the days after working nights every single week? Second shift? You have a little asbestos problem? I need to be on call 24/7? Turning my grimace into a smile, I say sign me up.
That's life. We're in an employer's market, and this is especially true of the library world. They have the work force by the short hairs, if you can forgive an expression that makes me cringe as well, and most of us are in absolutely no position to "interview" them and say "ehhhh, sorry but I'm looking for something on a tenure track," or "oooh, sorry but I was kind of hoping for a liberal arts college that offers a few Master's degrees as well." Yeah, right.
On one hand, it's not as unfortunate as having to pretend we're not the people we really are, and that instead we're outgoing, upbeat folks with a smile permanently on our lips. But on the other hand, it is a bit more insulting, since both sides of the table know better this time. These are desperate times and aspiring librarians are desperate people. Can we just drop the act? I'll still ask questions for curiosity's sake, but must I-- must I-- insult your intelligence by acting like I have any remote power of negotiation here?
I am your willing bitch.
That was one example of how (without lying, of course) we do have to make believe things in interviews that we know aren't true. However, there's another example of make believe that goes on in interviews, only in this case, BOTH parties know it's a lie. This is the part where we ask the employer questions because "we're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing us."
Ask anyone for interviewing advice, and that's on the short list. "Remember, you're interviewing them, too." We are-- supposedly-- sizing them up, getting a feel for the environment, and deciding if that place is good enough for us. The employers expect it too-- after all, if we're worth hiring, we can't be some desperate shlub, we need to be the cream of the crop. They should be wooing us.
Look, I understand we should ask questions just because we should have some curiosities of a place we may potentially work, but when I have to make believe that I'm an indispensable talent who is taking my expertise only to the very best place of business, I feel like I'm insulting their intelligence and my own.
Maybe there are people in even the library world like that. People with 20 years of experience who have run organizations, written books, given world famous (or, library famous) lectures around the country, and slain mimes with their adamantium claws. And if any of that were true of me, it would be on my fucking resume. Especially the claw thing.
No, I am most definitely and hilariously NOT in any position to "interview them as much as they're interviewing me," and it's laughable that I have to go through that charade. I know it and they know it, but there we sit, both politely pretending otherwise for no reason other than blind tradition, or perhaps to give them something to snicker about later. We in the library world-- all of us, you, me, and them-- know exactly how royally fucked our job market is. I am in absolutely no position to turn down a full time job, no matter how terrible the place is, and I'd venture to say few librarians and NO new or new-ish librarians are. If participation in their annual cactus hugging contest were a mandatory condition of hire, I would hug the crap out of some cacti and tearfully thank them for showing me more love than this career ever has.
I'm expected to work 50 hours a week for no extra pay? I have to work mornings the days after working nights every single week? Second shift? You have a little asbestos problem? I need to be on call 24/7? Turning my grimace into a smile, I say sign me up.
That's life. We're in an employer's market, and this is especially true of the library world. They have the work force by the short hairs, if you can forgive an expression that makes me cringe as well, and most of us are in absolutely no position to "interview" them and say "ehhhh, sorry but I'm looking for something on a tenure track," or "oooh, sorry but I was kind of hoping for a liberal arts college that offers a few Master's degrees as well." Yeah, right.
On one hand, it's not as unfortunate as having to pretend we're not the people we really are, and that instead we're outgoing, upbeat folks with a smile permanently on our lips. But on the other hand, it is a bit more insulting, since both sides of the table know better this time. These are desperate times and aspiring librarians are desperate people. Can we just drop the act? I'll still ask questions for curiosity's sake, but must I-- must I-- insult your intelligence by acting like I have any remote power of negotiation here?
I am your willing bitch.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Top 5 uses for an MLIS
After 5 years now of having a Master's in Library and Information Science, and spending that much time and counting trying to get full-time (or even half time) employment, I have decided to put together a list of things that an MLIS can actually be useful for. Here is what I've come up with:
Uses for an MLIS:
-Tuck your degree into your shirt before tackling a plate of ribs.
-Make an incredibly expensive yet stylish paper airplane.
-Wipe away your tears of failure.
-Glare at it while drinking alone each night.
-Give yourself a paper cut to procure the blood necessary to complete the ritual that summons Belphegor, ancient demon of greed, and beg him for a crust of bread.
What an MLIS is NOT useful for:
-Getting a job in the library field, or any field.
Uses for an MLIS:
-Tuck your degree into your shirt before tackling a plate of ribs.
-Make an incredibly expensive yet stylish paper airplane.
-Wipe away your tears of failure.
-Glare at it while drinking alone each night.
-Give yourself a paper cut to procure the blood necessary to complete the ritual that summons Belphegor, ancient demon of greed, and beg him for a crust of bread.
What an MLIS is NOT useful for:
-Getting a job in the library field, or any field.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Subterranean homelife blues part 2
I mentioned previously that I live in my parents’
basement. That’s the life of an aspiring
librarian: 30 and in a basement.
I’d like to talk a little more about what it will actually
be like for you when you’re living in a basement, waiting to find a job that
will employ you at least half-time after you get your MLIS. If
you predict that it will suck, you are so incredibly correct.
I recently came to realize that I’ve been living in
basements for 12 years now. As an
undergrad at the age of 18 I moved into my grandparents’ basement to be close
to my school (I didn’t have a car then), and watch their place when they were
away traveling for months at a time.
After my undergrad days I moved back with my parents while getting my
MLIS, and have been here since. My old
room was now my sister’s room, and my sister’s old room had been converted into
a computer/study room, so I got the basement.
12 years spent living in ugly, smelly basements. Basements are going to be ugly and smelly no
matter how you dress them up, that’s just the way it is. You can dress up a pig, but… it’s still
a pig, isn’t it? You know what else a
basement is like? Cold. Freaking cold. As I type this it is late Spring, and Spring is
actually the coldest time of the year for me.
Winter isn’t that bad because the heat is on, but come Spring the heat
gets turned off and I’m sitting here wrapped in blankets, wearing sweatshirts,
shivering. No one as hot as I am should
ever have to be this cold. There are
people who have literally frozen to death who have never, in their lives, been
as cold as I often am in the Spring. The
only time it’s really nice is Summer, when I’m actually cool while everyone
else is suffering from heat stroke.
I could deal with all of that… I mean, it’s not awesome, and
I’d still walk around with a general sense of sadness on the inside that has
leeched into me from my dank surroundings, but you know, I could deal. Except for the other thing that is a common
fixture of basements that you just can’t fight no matter how much carpet you
put down…
Bugs. Fucking
bugs. Running spiders as big as your
hand. Centipedes. For those of you not “blessed” to live in a
region with house centipedes, just imagine someone took ten long-legged spiders
and glued them together. That’s pretty
much a house centipede. I’d link you to
a picture, but then I’d have to see it myself.
Even pictures of them make me uncomfortable.
I have always had a psychotic, paranoid fear of bugs. I cannot live with having to share a planet
with them. The very thought of it makes
me want to cry. There’s only one thing
that gives me just enough peace of
mind to sleep knowing those things are skulking around: I sleep with a bug net
around my bed. Well, sort of. It’s really less of a bug net and more of a
pretty princess/harem girl kind of thing, but whatever, it does the job. I’ve only seen a spider inside the net with
me maybe two or three times in these past 8 years. More often than that I see them outside the
net.
I always have spray within reach at all times. For the past 12 years I’ve been spraying
powerful bug poisons near my bed, and I’m not sure exactly how well ventilated
these basements are. And I don’t
care. Lex Luther wore a kryptonite ring
until he himself got cancer from it, because he hated Superman that much. I don’t know how many years I’ve taken off of
my life, but it’s something I need to do.
I said I can’t live on the same planet with bugs, and I meant it. I will slowly kill myself to take as many of
them with me as I possibly can. And yes
I realize I’m the supervillain in that analogy, and I’m ok with that. What, am I going to pretend that someone who
has declared all-out war on all bugs—and actually
believes that the bugs are aware of this and are fighting back in
coordinated efforts—is all that sane? So
sure, I’m the bad guy, I don’t care. Say
hello to the bad guy, you cockroaches.
But God damn, am I ever sick of living in basements. More than a decade of this… success is really this impossible? This is the new American way?
Those of you who are just getting your MLIS, I hope you’re
less afraid of bugs than I am.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Where jobs grow on jobees.
I said I couldn't do it. I couldn't face one more semester in this hostile work environment, especially not with Spring approaching, notoriously the worst time of the year for student behavior.
Did anyone really think things would turn out differently for me than they always have? Of course I'm on the schedule again... and it turns out I'm not the only one who has asked/begged not to be placed on this particular campus again due to the student behavior, ensuring that I will be shoved into this slot over and over as more people leave, since I don't have the luxury of demanding to be placed at a different campus "or else I won't come back." I don't have another job. I need the money. I'm the only one willing to take this kind of abuse. Well, not "willing" exactly, but I don't have a choice.
The "good news" if there is any, is I'll only have one section, and on Saturday morning. This leaves me lots of free time and flexibility to find and work another job, maybe some crap minimum wage job that will undoubtedly suck, but will probably be less stressful and pay as much or more. There's only one small problem with that. It would have to be possible for me to find another job, even a crap one.
I've always "loved" how people say "get a job" as if it's just that simple. We no longer live in an age where you can walk into any store and remove the 'help wanted' sign from the window, and you have a job. We no longer even live in an age where you can walk into a McDonald's, fill out an application, and automatically get that job. And I'm someone with reliable transportation, no convictions, and an able (if crappy) body... I'm what used to be the bare criteria for hire-ability in a dead end job.. but none of that cuts it anymore. Just "get a job"? Only one reply seems appropriate to that condescending advice...
So this summer, I strap on my job helmet and finally search for some crappy, dead-end minimum wage job, since this whole library science thing worked out so well. Wish me luck. Or death, I'll take death, actually...
Did anyone really think things would turn out differently for me than they always have? Of course I'm on the schedule again... and it turns out I'm not the only one who has asked/begged not to be placed on this particular campus again due to the student behavior, ensuring that I will be shoved into this slot over and over as more people leave, since I don't have the luxury of demanding to be placed at a different campus "or else I won't come back." I don't have another job. I need the money. I'm the only one willing to take this kind of abuse. Well, not "willing" exactly, but I don't have a choice.
The "good news" if there is any, is I'll only have one section, and on Saturday morning. This leaves me lots of free time and flexibility to find and work another job, maybe some crap minimum wage job that will undoubtedly suck, but will probably be less stressful and pay as much or more. There's only one small problem with that. It would have to be possible for me to find another job, even a crap one.
I've always "loved" how people say "get a job" as if it's just that simple. We no longer live in an age where you can walk into any store and remove the 'help wanted' sign from the window, and you have a job. We no longer even live in an age where you can walk into a McDonald's, fill out an application, and automatically get that job. And I'm someone with reliable transportation, no convictions, and an able (if crappy) body... I'm what used to be the bare criteria for hire-ability in a dead end job.. but none of that cuts it anymore. Just "get a job"? Only one reply seems appropriate to that condescending advice...
So this summer, I strap on my job helmet and finally search for some crappy, dead-end minimum wage job, since this whole library science thing worked out so well. Wish me luck. Or death, I'll take death, actually...
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
No end in sight to my suffering
It may seem like I've forgotten about this blog, but I do have more to say. This issue right now is a combination of being very busy and being completely demoralized from losing all of the pre-written posts I had when my hard disk died.
So just to keep things going for now I'll address a question that no one asked: does anyone know about this blog?
Well, no. I mean, like, no one at all. I'm positive no one follows this. Even people I know. I've told some people I have a blog on this topic, but I haven't told them how to find it. For the most part, however, I haven't alluded at all to the fact that I have this blog. And that, of course, is a big part of the reason no one follows it. I don't advertise. I can't.
The thing is, I figure as long as no one who might ever read this knows who I am, then I'm free to say whatever I want. If I were writing this keeping in mind that my friends, relatives, boss, co-workers, what have you, know about this blog, then I'd be keeping in mind as I write it who may be watching, and making adjustments based on that. If no one knows, I'm free to say anything I want without ever even thinking about whether or not I should phrase things differently, omit things, etc.
so when will I ever tell people about this blog? when it becomes a finished product. that day will happen. I don't know when, but it will. It will be when I'm no longer a failed librarian. And that'll happen either when 1-- I've found that full time job, or 2-- I've given up so utterly and completely that I'm no longer looking for library jobs or planning to ever look again. If the former happens, I will no longer be a failure. If the latter happens, I will no longer be a librarian.
When this is a finished product I will share it with the people who I consider it not inappropriate to share it with.
So if anyone was wondering if this very blog was one of the obstacles I've been having to getting that elusive job, hell no. I'd rather every view be from a spam-bot than give myself away right now. for now I write uncensored, freely, and (preferably) drunk on absinthe.
So just to keep things going for now I'll address a question that no one asked: does anyone know about this blog?
Well, no. I mean, like, no one at all. I'm positive no one follows this. Even people I know. I've told some people I have a blog on this topic, but I haven't told them how to find it. For the most part, however, I haven't alluded at all to the fact that I have this blog. And that, of course, is a big part of the reason no one follows it. I don't advertise. I can't.
The thing is, I figure as long as no one who might ever read this knows who I am, then I'm free to say whatever I want. If I were writing this keeping in mind that my friends, relatives, boss, co-workers, what have you, know about this blog, then I'd be keeping in mind as I write it who may be watching, and making adjustments based on that. If no one knows, I'm free to say anything I want without ever even thinking about whether or not I should phrase things differently, omit things, etc.
so when will I ever tell people about this blog? when it becomes a finished product. that day will happen. I don't know when, but it will. It will be when I'm no longer a failed librarian. And that'll happen either when 1-- I've found that full time job, or 2-- I've given up so utterly and completely that I'm no longer looking for library jobs or planning to ever look again. If the former happens, I will no longer be a failure. If the latter happens, I will no longer be a librarian.
When this is a finished product I will share it with the people who I consider it not inappropriate to share it with.
So if anyone was wondering if this very blog was one of the obstacles I've been having to getting that elusive job, hell no. I'd rather every view be from a spam-bot than give myself away right now. for now I write uncensored, freely, and (preferably) drunk on absinthe.
Friday, February 8, 2013
My "favorite" interview question, and answers.
Why do you want to work here?
-Because I need money.
-Because I’d like to stop being a failure now.
-Because I have to start somewhere.
-Because I sent out a million resumes and this was the only place to call me.
-Because I spent all day yesterday lying in bed. Come dark, the shadows danced on the ceiling until they blurred together into non-Euclidean shapes with glowing red eyes and gaping mouths. Their dispassionate, echoing laughter filled my ears as they swirled around, laughing, mocking me. They made me feel bad about myself. I lay there mesmerized, forgetting about my body. There was nothing but them, me, and the laughter, God the laughter. They saw inside of me, right through my skin and sinew, into my soul. They found it empty. Empty, lost, and forever alone, leaning out for anything but never touching something real. They laughed. It all went away that night. The whole world went away. I don't know if it was just me, or if I actually unmade the entire world with my mind. I don’t know when I lost consciousness, but eventually my eyes blinked open as the light of a new day hit my face. I still felt paralyzed. For another hour, some part of me wanted to go back. Wanted the world to go away again, just wanted everything to go away forever. I’m afraid of what will happen if I spend another day like this, if one more day of me being a failure with nothing else to do were to go by. I might lose myself again. I might unmake the entire world forever.
-Because please?
Thursday, January 24, 2013
I'll think of an awesome title for this someday.
A little something I just composed. I'll probably kick myself later for posting it because I like to tinker with things for a long time and I'm sure I'll decide later that it looks better another way, maybe add a verse or two, and I'll definitely think of a way better title (currently I have none), but screw it, here it goes:
What can you
do when
An economy
collapses?
You send out
your resume
But you won’t
get any chances
You did well
in school,
Hoped you’d
be a success.
But soon you’ll
be forced to
Eat your
MLIS
The years
still go by
And you’ve
had no luck yet.
Your life has
been ruined from
Your massive
student debt
You flip
burgers for nothing
But yet you’re
still trying.
You’ve lost
all your hope,
But you keep
on applying
Maybe
someday when
You’re a septuagenarian
You’ll be
able to say that:
“I am a
librarian.”
Thursday, January 17, 2013
The ice is getting thinner
Please bear with me. As I mentioned not long ago, I recently lost all of the posts I'd written out prior to starting the blog. This style of typing up a post as I think of it instead of "perfecting" it weeks or months in advance is a little alien to me. Hopefully this won't hurt the quality that I'm pretending my posts used to have.
I have just entered the new semester, and I hope to God it is my last. Obviously I've always been hopeful of that just because I was hoping I'd get a full time job in the field. By now I've given up on that hope and I'm looking for literally anything else so that I'll never have to teach at this place again. If I can find a job flipping burgers at Wal-Mart I will take it and never look back.
I mentioned before the behavior issues the students have, especially in this post:
http://failedlibrarian.blogspot.com/2012/12/paying-dues-when-doing-doesnt-pay.html
(skip down to "the workplace environment...")
I would love to go into more specific details, but quite frankly I'd be giving away too much if I did. In the off chance anyone who knows the school were to read this, they'd know which school I'm talking about, because this kind of crap couldn't possibly happen at any other college.
Next semester will be Spring semester, and I have never had a good experience in Spring. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the heat, but for some reason Spring brings out the most antagonistic, combative, and hostile students, and every single one of them ends up in my classroom. I can't face that again, I just can't. I can't, I can't, I can't.
Unfortunately I'm still wrestling with one not-so-minor problem. Being a librarian is all I know how to do. I don't have extensive experience in anything else. If anything, I'm pretty sure that having a Master's degree hurts my chances of getting a job at a gas station or something. And much to my detriment, I'm one of the apparently few people who isn't smart enough to hide that kind of thing. It would just mean too many white lies during the interview. Maybe not all white. Maybe a few greenish ones, or even a crimson one. I'm just not very comfortable with lying.
This is all I know how to do, and all I've ever done for any serious length of time. I'm a librarian, I'm not qualified to flip burgers. Where can I go? The clock to Spring has begun...
I have just entered the new semester, and I hope to God it is my last. Obviously I've always been hopeful of that just because I was hoping I'd get a full time job in the field. By now I've given up on that hope and I'm looking for literally anything else so that I'll never have to teach at this place again. If I can find a job flipping burgers at Wal-Mart I will take it and never look back.
I mentioned before the behavior issues the students have, especially in this post:
http://failedlibrarian.blogspot.com/2012/12/paying-dues-when-doing-doesnt-pay.html
(skip down to "the workplace environment...")
I would love to go into more specific details, but quite frankly I'd be giving away too much if I did. In the off chance anyone who knows the school were to read this, they'd know which school I'm talking about, because this kind of crap couldn't possibly happen at any other college.
Next semester will be Spring semester, and I have never had a good experience in Spring. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the heat, but for some reason Spring brings out the most antagonistic, combative, and hostile students, and every single one of them ends up in my classroom. I can't face that again, I just can't. I can't, I can't, I can't.
Unfortunately I'm still wrestling with one not-so-minor problem. Being a librarian is all I know how to do. I don't have extensive experience in anything else. If anything, I'm pretty sure that having a Master's degree hurts my chances of getting a job at a gas station or something. And much to my detriment, I'm one of the apparently few people who isn't smart enough to hide that kind of thing. It would just mean too many white lies during the interview. Maybe not all white. Maybe a few greenish ones, or even a crimson one. I'm just not very comfortable with lying.
This is all I know how to do, and all I've ever done for any serious length of time. I'm a librarian, I'm not qualified to flip burgers. Where can I go? The clock to Spring has begun...
Saturday, January 5, 2013
What's so happy about it?
As of a little over a week ago, it is now finally official. I am the quintessential go-to example of a loser stereotype. I am a 30 year old living in my parents' basement.
I explained the whole parents' basement thing in this old post:
http://failedlibrarian.blogspot.com/2012/10/subterranean-homelife-blues.html
And now I've finally hit the "big" 30. I don't see what's so big about it, though. The only difference seems to be lower car insurance rates, and the sudden inability to eat pizza before bed from now on.
But that's neither here nor there. The point is that I am 30, have had my MLIS for almost 5 years, and have yet to find any employment in my field that even qualifies as half-time. Anyone surprised? Show of hands?
.
.
.
Yep, that's what I thought.
I explained the whole parents' basement thing in this old post:
http://failedlibrarian.blogspot.com/2012/10/subterranean-homelife-blues.html
And now I've finally hit the "big" 30. I don't see what's so big about it, though. The only difference seems to be lower car insurance rates, and the sudden inability to eat pizza before bed from now on.
But that's neither here nor there. The point is that I am 30, have had my MLIS for almost 5 years, and have yet to find any employment in my field that even qualifies as half-time. Anyone surprised? Show of hands?
.
.
.
Yep, that's what I thought.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Paying dues when doing doesn't pay
The focus of this blog, really, is to to describe the employment situation our field is in, especially to new or potential librarians. So when I bitch about seemingly personal issues, the message behind it is always: "this is what you will probably go through if you decide to become a librarian."
That being said, I hate my job.
This is the kind of profession where you may very well end up paying your dues in thankless and degrading ways for a long, long time in hopes to get the kind of job you someday want.
This is my current situation:
I work at a career college as an adjunct instructor. I won't say where because obviously.
It was pretty good when I first started. I liked my colleagues and boss, I liked the students, and I felt like I was contributing in a meaningful way.
I still like my colleagues and boss. The ONE good thing I still have to say about this place is that the people I work with are very supportive, and I like to think I do my part to be helpful and supportive back. It shouldn't be a surprise, it's a pretty common trait for a librarian.
However, when I started I was only teaching 1-2 classes, and I was doing it for the experience, not the money. I had an office job that was my main source of income. That business folded (through no fault of my own.... probably), and I was left with just the teaching job.
That's my brief history, now on to why you never, ever want to work in a place like this.
First of all, there is no work/life balance. None. The job follows you home. You will spend your "days off" grading papers, replying to student emails, and preping lectures. It is an all-consuming job you will be doing for.... hold on, let me move to my next point:
Second of all, the pay is garbage. You will do this all-consuming job for no benefits and crap pay. I am currently making $1126.13 per month after taxes. Notice I said "making" and not "earning" because I earn far more than I'm given. The powers that be have NO concept of how much work they're realistically asking. This is not my personal experience, it is the experience of every single employee I've spoken to there. Every one of them works far more hours than they are paid for. This might be understandable in a high position where you're already making a large paycheck (I would not agree yet, but some could make that argument). However, I repeat: 1126.13.
By the way, this is the maximum (raises not withstanding-- I've gotten 3 or 4 since I started in 2009). This is what I'm currently earning for teaching 3 classes, which happens to be the maximum I can teach. Last semester there was only room for one spot on the schedule for me (which is pretty typical of Spring semester, and not uncommon of Winter either) and I was making 394.66. Yes, that's per month. On my Master's level salary.
So the pay is worthless and the workload sucks. What about job satisfaction? It started out ok, like I said I felt like I was contributing. But more and more, the students are making things not worthwhile. What I'm about to describe may not be typical of all schools, but it's typical at mine:
The students give exactly zero fucks. Exactly zero. I counted. Twice.
At a normal school, a student who misses class will contact the instructor and ask what they missed. That's what we did in college, right?
The students here won't do that. So I email them. At the end of each class, an email goes out to every one of my students with the work attached, saying "here's what you missed," and a re-hash of the instructions for the more in-depth papers. Care to guess how many students can be bothered to take the initiative of checking their God damn email? If you said "not a one" you are the lucky winner of this lovely set of not a damn thing, because I already told you what I get "paid." But you would be correct.
I could understand meeting them halfway, but we don't just meet them halfway. We go up to their door and knock. And they can't be bothered to put on a pair of pants and answer it. That's just their attitude: they don't want to take even a minimal amount of personal responsibility. And yes, we all explain to them how college works. Admissions does it, the advisors do it, the instructors do it. We all tell them "seriously, you need to go to class." And "seriously, you need to do your work." They've all heard it, they don't care.
The problem with job satisfaction is, it's now to the point where most of the students are not putting in a serious effort, and the few that do are often the ones who don't really need a ton of help anyway. I feel like all I'm doing at this point is weeding out the students who are wasting their time, and "angel of death" is not a very satisfying job.
And when they bother to show up? Well that brings me to the last complaint, the workplace environment ranges from "borderline hostile" to "fucking hostile." This job involves far, far more degradation than I am being paid to take. The students fight and push back at you at every turn. No matter how much you lower your standards, it's not enough to make them happy. I gave up on trying to get them to stop swearing in class, all I asked is that they not use racial slurs. I tell a guy not to say it, he immediately repeats it to my face. I had a student rant and argue about every rule I tried to enforce, telling me "I don't like this class and I don't like you." And it wasn't just me. He put 3 instructors through his brand of terrorism before being removed from the school. I had a student (not even one of mine) come into my room and start swearing as every other word out of his mouth. Particularly something that started with "Mother" but then took a pretty hard left turn. I ordered him out, and he walked out swearing at me now with a huge grin on his face, obviously very proud of himself. And he was right to think he got one over on me-- he did. I have no idea who he was, and thus no way to report him. I went to a noisy room next to mine (more loud abusive language. Of course plenty of racial slurs) and asked them to be quieter. The whole time I'm talking to them one of them repeatedly barks "NO!" at me.
...I could go on. For pages.
Even the students who aren't complete assholes by nature wear you down. There's only so many times you can pass out the most dumbed-down research paper you will ever see-- (4 pages long, and we give the students a list of suggested sources. They don't even have to find or evaluate the sources themselves, and we call it a "research" paper, because we've given up expecting more of them)-- and being consistently and unanimously told that "you're giving them too much work" and hear about how cruel you're being before you lose any shred of sympathy for the students, and for humanity in general.
Now to bring the point back around: yes, I'm venting. It had to be done. But this isn't all about me talking about myself. The other point I want to make is this: this has been my job for four years now. This is what I'm putting myself through week in and week out, because as terrible as it is in every aspect (unreasonable workload for crap pay and utter degradation), this is the best I can do in the library world. This is exactly the kind of thing you may find yourself doing for years on end, week in and week out, in hopes of MAYBE one day being able to land something better. How many years? Well, four isn't enough for me so far. I'll keep counting.
How badly do you want to be a librarian?
That being said, I hate my job.
This is the kind of profession where you may very well end up paying your dues in thankless and degrading ways for a long, long time in hopes to get the kind of job you someday want.
This is my current situation:
I work at a career college as an adjunct instructor. I won't say where because obviously.
It was pretty good when I first started. I liked my colleagues and boss, I liked the students, and I felt like I was contributing in a meaningful way.
I still like my colleagues and boss. The ONE good thing I still have to say about this place is that the people I work with are very supportive, and I like to think I do my part to be helpful and supportive back. It shouldn't be a surprise, it's a pretty common trait for a librarian.
However, when I started I was only teaching 1-2 classes, and I was doing it for the experience, not the money. I had an office job that was my main source of income. That business folded (through no fault of my own.... probably), and I was left with just the teaching job.
That's my brief history, now on to why you never, ever want to work in a place like this.
First of all, there is no work/life balance. None. The job follows you home. You will spend your "days off" grading papers, replying to student emails, and preping lectures. It is an all-consuming job you will be doing for.... hold on, let me move to my next point:
Second of all, the pay is garbage. You will do this all-consuming job for no benefits and crap pay. I am currently making $1126.13 per month after taxes. Notice I said "making" and not "earning" because I earn far more than I'm given. The powers that be have NO concept of how much work they're realistically asking. This is not my personal experience, it is the experience of every single employee I've spoken to there. Every one of them works far more hours than they are paid for. This might be understandable in a high position where you're already making a large paycheck (I would not agree yet, but some could make that argument). However, I repeat: 1126.13.
By the way, this is the maximum (raises not withstanding-- I've gotten 3 or 4 since I started in 2009). This is what I'm currently earning for teaching 3 classes, which happens to be the maximum I can teach. Last semester there was only room for one spot on the schedule for me (which is pretty typical of Spring semester, and not uncommon of Winter either) and I was making 394.66. Yes, that's per month. On my Master's level salary.
So the pay is worthless and the workload sucks. What about job satisfaction? It started out ok, like I said I felt like I was contributing. But more and more, the students are making things not worthwhile. What I'm about to describe may not be typical of all schools, but it's typical at mine:
The students give exactly zero fucks. Exactly zero. I counted. Twice.
At a normal school, a student who misses class will contact the instructor and ask what they missed. That's what we did in college, right?
The students here won't do that. So I email them. At the end of each class, an email goes out to every one of my students with the work attached, saying "here's what you missed," and a re-hash of the instructions for the more in-depth papers. Care to guess how many students can be bothered to take the initiative of checking their God damn email? If you said "not a one" you are the lucky winner of this lovely set of not a damn thing, because I already told you what I get "paid." But you would be correct.
I could understand meeting them halfway, but we don't just meet them halfway. We go up to their door and knock. And they can't be bothered to put on a pair of pants and answer it. That's just their attitude: they don't want to take even a minimal amount of personal responsibility. And yes, we all explain to them how college works. Admissions does it, the advisors do it, the instructors do it. We all tell them "seriously, you need to go to class." And "seriously, you need to do your work." They've all heard it, they don't care.
The problem with job satisfaction is, it's now to the point where most of the students are not putting in a serious effort, and the few that do are often the ones who don't really need a ton of help anyway. I feel like all I'm doing at this point is weeding out the students who are wasting their time, and "angel of death" is not a very satisfying job.
And when they bother to show up? Well that brings me to the last complaint, the workplace environment ranges from "borderline hostile" to "fucking hostile." This job involves far, far more degradation than I am being paid to take. The students fight and push back at you at every turn. No matter how much you lower your standards, it's not enough to make them happy. I gave up on trying to get them to stop swearing in class, all I asked is that they not use racial slurs. I tell a guy not to say it, he immediately repeats it to my face. I had a student rant and argue about every rule I tried to enforce, telling me "I don't like this class and I don't like you." And it wasn't just me. He put 3 instructors through his brand of terrorism before being removed from the school. I had a student (not even one of mine) come into my room and start swearing as every other word out of his mouth. Particularly something that started with "Mother" but then took a pretty hard left turn. I ordered him out, and he walked out swearing at me now with a huge grin on his face, obviously very proud of himself. And he was right to think he got one over on me-- he did. I have no idea who he was, and thus no way to report him. I went to a noisy room next to mine (more loud abusive language. Of course plenty of racial slurs) and asked them to be quieter. The whole time I'm talking to them one of them repeatedly barks "NO!" at me.
...I could go on. For pages.
Even the students who aren't complete assholes by nature wear you down. There's only so many times you can pass out the most dumbed-down research paper you will ever see-- (4 pages long, and we give the students a list of suggested sources. They don't even have to find or evaluate the sources themselves, and we call it a "research" paper, because we've given up expecting more of them)-- and being consistently and unanimously told that "you're giving them too much work" and hear about how cruel you're being before you lose any shred of sympathy for the students, and for humanity in general.
Now to bring the point back around: yes, I'm venting. It had to be done. But this isn't all about me talking about myself. The other point I want to make is this: this has been my job for four years now. This is what I'm putting myself through week in and week out, because as terrible as it is in every aspect (unreasonable workload for crap pay and utter degradation), this is the best I can do in the library world. This is exactly the kind of thing you may find yourself doing for years on end, week in and week out, in hopes of MAYBE one day being able to land something better. How many years? Well, four isn't enough for me so far. I'll keep counting.
How badly do you want to be a librarian?
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Positively positive
You're getting by now that I'm aware that I completely ruined my entire life with my horrible career choice of trying to be a librarian. Yep, I am, no arguing there. But in honor of Thanksgiving, I'm going to try to think of something positive to say about it.
The good thing about being a librarian is that the work itself doesn't suck. Ideally. I mean, no matter where you are, some jobs are just going to suck. But if you can find a position that doesn't, it sure is nice to be able to help people and feel like you're doing something of value.
Before I embarked on this career, I couldn't fathom the idea of wanting to work. It's something we do because we have to, not because we want to, right?
One of the things I learned in the management course in library school was that people are most satisfied with their professional lives when they believe that what they're doing really matters. I had no frame of reference for that tidbit of knowledge to be useful to me at that time, but for some reason I remembered it when I was doing my fieldwork and a cartoon light bulb went off over my head.
The last job I'd had before my fieldwork was, embarrassingly, being one of those people at a busy intersection holding up a sign for a nearby pizza stand. My entire job was holding up a sign. I could have been replaced at any moment by a wooden post. How valuable do you think I felt?
Then I got to do fieldwork and I got to help people. Directly. Even when it was something as simple as showing them how to print or explaining how to figure out a bus schedule, it made me giddy to know that people were presenting me with problems, and I was solving those problems for them.
Do I think I'll ever really accept that I have to give up the better half of my waking day, 5 days a week, to something else with no say in the matter? No, of course not. But for the first time I actually understood how working life could at least be bearable. I realized how true it was that workplace satisfaction comes from feeling like your contribution matters.
The good news about the librarian career is that you do get opportunities to do things that feel like they matter. So if it were actually possible for me to get fully employed in this field, I really would have something to look forward to.
Not only is the work itself not bad, but add on the fact that, while not many people will ever get rich in this field, librarian is a job that, for now, if you were to get it, you wouldn't be starving (assuming you're not living outside of your means). Also, that was a lot of commas.
Put that all together and this is a career where I could put in a days work, come home feeling like I did something that mattered, and greet a spouse whom I do not argue with over money all the time because I do not have a minimum wage job that forces us to live check to check, paying off one credit card bill with another credit card, and never fully knowing how we'll make rent. Instead, we live comfortably within our means and, though never rich, aren't constantly stressed out over money either. That's a pretty damn good life. In fact, I couldn't ask for better (I'm already assuming the spouse is hot. With as hot as I am, it goes without saying).
That's the life I could hypothetically have, if only this profession, as nice as it can be if I ever make it to that side of the rainbow, weren't completely devoid of opportunity. If only this career path had a somewhat reasonable expectation of job placement, it would be pretty sexy.
Yes, I'm thankful for the fact that librarian would be a good job, of only librarian jobs were out there. I suppose that's about as useful as saying that I'm thankful for how delicious unicorns would be if only they existed, but hey, I said I was going to say something positive.
The good thing about being a librarian is that the work itself doesn't suck. Ideally. I mean, no matter where you are, some jobs are just going to suck. But if you can find a position that doesn't, it sure is nice to be able to help people and feel like you're doing something of value.
Before I embarked on this career, I couldn't fathom the idea of wanting to work. It's something we do because we have to, not because we want to, right?
One of the things I learned in the management course in library school was that people are most satisfied with their professional lives when they believe that what they're doing really matters. I had no frame of reference for that tidbit of knowledge to be useful to me at that time, but for some reason I remembered it when I was doing my fieldwork and a cartoon light bulb went off over my head.
The last job I'd had before my fieldwork was, embarrassingly, being one of those people at a busy intersection holding up a sign for a nearby pizza stand. My entire job was holding up a sign. I could have been replaced at any moment by a wooden post. How valuable do you think I felt?
Then I got to do fieldwork and I got to help people. Directly. Even when it was something as simple as showing them how to print or explaining how to figure out a bus schedule, it made me giddy to know that people were presenting me with problems, and I was solving those problems for them.
Do I think I'll ever really accept that I have to give up the better half of my waking day, 5 days a week, to something else with no say in the matter? No, of course not. But for the first time I actually understood how working life could at least be bearable. I realized how true it was that workplace satisfaction comes from feeling like your contribution matters.
The good news about the librarian career is that you do get opportunities to do things that feel like they matter. So if it were actually possible for me to get fully employed in this field, I really would have something to look forward to.
Not only is the work itself not bad, but add on the fact that, while not many people will ever get rich in this field, librarian is a job that, for now, if you were to get it, you wouldn't be starving (assuming you're not living outside of your means). Also, that was a lot of commas.
Put that all together and this is a career where I could put in a days work, come home feeling like I did something that mattered, and greet a spouse whom I do not argue with over money all the time because I do not have a minimum wage job that forces us to live check to check, paying off one credit card bill with another credit card, and never fully knowing how we'll make rent. Instead, we live comfortably within our means and, though never rich, aren't constantly stressed out over money either. That's a pretty damn good life. In fact, I couldn't ask for better (I'm already assuming the spouse is hot. With as hot as I am, it goes without saying).
That's the life I could hypothetically have, if only this profession, as nice as it can be if I ever make it to that side of the rainbow, weren't completely devoid of opportunity. If only this career path had a somewhat reasonable expectation of job placement, it would be pretty sexy.
Yes, I'm thankful for the fact that librarian would be a good job, of only librarian jobs were out there. I suppose that's about as useful as saying that I'm thankful for how delicious unicorns would be if only they existed, but hey, I said I was going to say something positive.
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